Today was triggering. I don’t care how much more charismatic this priest was, and that he finished mass within 45 minutes. I had to sit back and control my waved urges to scoff at numerous things and thoughts. Because, the conflict that I am constantly grappling with when I look around during mass session is 1) This is literally what 500 years of settler colonial religious influence looks like, 2) As much as it is deeply flawed and has dark history- Catholicism/Christianity it is embedded in our Pilipinx-American identities, 3) If most of our families really do ascribe to this, and if we don’t- are we betraying our family and thus culture?
One thing I really had to grimace at was the amount of times the readings cited !sra3l as claiming its “land”. In lieu of the genocide that is occurring there currently, and the wildly indirect ways the church dances with praying for “peace in the middle east”, I almost walked out.
Second thing, that I could find myself needing to pull humor into because.. resilience. The gospel according to Matthew was a short spiel on how Joseph was having his doubts about being with Mary because she was now a pregnant virgin, and according to that good ol’ scripture- he was embarrassed and wanted to “quietly leave her”. So God had to send an angel down to basically tell Joseph he can’t ghost her and he isn’t but has to be the father. Was it because Joseph couldn’t get it, get it? If you know what I mean. Considering he and Mary were allegedly still together after she birthed Jesus; eventually he was going to (officially) get some. Did he have a girlfriend, lover, side piece he didn’t want to leave behind for this epic, immaculately conceptual calling? I had so many more questions!
So basically, scripture has confirmed that (some) men have been denying BD (baby daddy) duties since BC (before Christ) times.
Upon conversing with some male-minded counterparts, I might see how this may be a dilemma for Joseph. What about Mary? Imagine having to rip your body apart and you didn’t even get to experience the pleasure of making that (powerful) baby! Mother Mary DESERVED all the appreciation and worship she got, gets, and will continue to receive. And, I hope sis got some good-good after she delivered and healed from childbirth. Matter fact, I assume Joseph and Mary redeemed their doubts away. Because Joseph stayed anyway. Just sayin!
